God has awakened my heart in the last several months and what I have discovered scares me a bit. While my soul was in a drunken slumber, blindly pursuing the “american dream,” I fear I missed some key moments in my journey. Moments that would impact my decisions to veer to the left or to the right at one of those defining forks in the road. So as a result of this renewed insight that I have not been living my life for my God, I have this sense of urgency to “make up for lost time.” The frustrating thing is….I don’t know what that means!! Recently I had a close friend and fellow cohort send me this message which sheds some light on the space I believe I am in:
“The best picture that I think of as I write this is the picture of Neo after taking the red pill. He ends up going into the room with all the gadgets and basically the new life is infused into him and some of what was old is removed or restored to fuller life, culminating in his new birth from being a pod/embryo to becoming a new creation. Once that process was over it was onto the training programs. I have a feeling that this is where many of us are at, me definitely included. It is not unlikely paralleled to Jesus calling His disciples and walking with them for 3 years before really turning them loose. Not unlike Paul after his conversion, and then going away for a while before coming back into the scene. Not unlike Moses, being in the desert for 40 years or David being a shepherd before a king. The great news is that our stories are not unlike these guys.”
Walking today in what God has for me is not easy. My nature is one that I want to skip to the end result and experience immediate gratification – I have always struggled with this. God has asked me walk with him today, to let him prepare me for what he has for me and through the training, the preparation, the awakening He is present now and He is active now and if I don’t take in what he wants to show me today I will only circumvent the process of preparing me for the future. After all, my blind stupor prepared me for what I am walking in today….Praise God!
