I have proclaimed to be a Christ follower for 19 years now. It was the summer between my junior and senior year in high school that I chose to live my life for Jesus. As I have labored to give up my old self in the hope of gaining my new life, I have come to realize that I have actually given up very little ME. I have not fully accepted the impact of this new life that God offers me through the sacrifice of his Son. I have tried to put into practice this new life that I have chosen, a life dedicated to living for Jesus. I attended Bible College, went into full-time ministry, attended the conferences, the classes, the spiritual assessment, left full-time ministry, helped plant a new church, joined other ministries, et cetera, et cetera. However, through all of this activity I have spent the better part of my "christian life" with my back turned to Jesus, wallowing in the love of my self – my sin. Calling on the "slot machine jesus" to bless my life and what I'm doing.
What I have realized is that I have proclaimed to be a follower of Jesus, yet I have not fully committed myself to being a disciple of Jesus. Semantics may argue that they are one in the same but if you dig deeper you will in fact find that they are vastly diverse.
The institution of church is full of followers of Jesus and frankly anyone can get their membership nowadays. All you have to do is show up, attend a few introductory classes, discover your gifts, join a small group, get involved in a ministry, clap and sing, attend this, attend that, give to the building fund and wa la – you're in! And you do all of this for the promise of your new life in Jesus. If you do all of these things then you are counted among the faithful and are welcomed into the club with full membership privileges, providing that you abide by the unspoken rules (this is another post).
The problem with this organized approach of doing church in North America is that it doesn’t work! As a whole, people do not become spiritually mature under this institutional prospectus; they become busy, burned out, tired, weary of the show that has to be produced week in and week out. All this is really doing is numbing the pain of loss.
So what is the alternative? Instead of focusing on making a decision for Christ and then getting "plugged in" to the club, we need to get back to the command that Jesus gave to the original 12 disciples – go and make more disciples! Train others who desire to become Jesus' disciples with the goal to see their life transformed to their new life, their real life, in surrender to God. Not busy feeding the American culture of materialism and secularism that has infiltrated our church structure today.
Let's be honest, transformation to this new life does not happen in the jamboree that's held at the club each week, or even in the mid-week pep rallies. It happens in community, in life, in intimate small settings, during conversations emerging out of trust and friendship that is built over time. Not through a class, a four step how-to message, or a holiday production at the club, but through your life, your discipline, your commitment, your love, your grace, your full dedication to being like Jesus.
Of course the club expects their members to bring potential members to the club to show off all the fancy equipment and benefits of belonging, enticing them to join through all the relevant talk about a "christian life" that is offered. Why not train members to stay in their neighborhoods and be like Jesus – outside the club. What happen to running on a trail or the street? The problem is too many members draw on the controlled, comfortable, easy environment of running on the treadmill. The club is not training members to run outside where the environment is unpredictable, uncomfortable, and difficult.
Being a disciple means everything within you desires to be like your Rabbi. You are driven everyday to be like him. He has chosen you and confirmed in you that you have what it takes to be like him if you follow and learn. As a true disciple you follow in the footsteps of your Rabbi so close, that the dust created from his feet, while walking, gets all over you, and you love it! You dedicate your entire life to reading the scriptures and emulating your Rabbi in order that one day you can be like him! You give up the introspective view of your own life and invite God to heal, strengthen and take over these spaces in order to catapult you into a whole new experience of who you are meant to be! A new life that you could never dream about, even if you tried! Instead of pursuing your dreams, your life, your self – you pursue God's dreams, God's life, God's self!
The hard part about walking in this space for me is letting go of my dreams and grabbing hold of God's, believing that he will catch me and tell me that I have what it takes. It's a scary space of trust, obedience and faith. So it is to this point that I realize that I am not yet a disciple of Jesus but merely a follower that has grown tired of his club membership…….
